Picture

I'm sure one day I'll look back and laugh at how stupid I was.

Living my life in a slow hell
different girl every night at the hotel
I aint seen the sun shine in 3 damn days
been fuelin up on cocaine and whiskey
wish I had a good girl to miss me
but I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

Game

I've been playing this game. You play enough and you get good at anything.

Most of the time though, I only play because I lost at the real game.

Striking Out

You know how people change. I honestly think most of the time people only change if something BIG happens.

I think I've had one of those defining moments. One of those moments that's made me realize that I'm 21 years old and not getting any younger. I'm about to graduate; most of my friends have already graduated and are getting ready to move on with their lives.

Sometimes I wonder how many people have just settled. I think life has left me somewhat cynical.

This is what I've realized; it is always better to take life by the horns and to go for it. Too many times I've been THAT guy. You'll never get that second chance and if you don't take that chance, you might never get a chance to bat again. You know what they say "it's better to strike out swinging than to strike out looking".

I suppose in the end I can only trust that the Lord will guide my life in a direction that is pleasing to Him and that He knows what is best for me. I think Ecclesiastes has always been my favorite book of the Bible because I believe that it shows life for what it is.

10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labor.

¹¹ Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.

I feel like that about sums it up.

Taken for granted

Something that I've really appreciated about being back in Toronto is going to my home church.

Having now been to a few other churches, I have a real appreciation for just how fortunate our church is to have a great pastor who really knows the bible and is able to communicate that knowledge effectively.

Freeze!

I wish I could stop time. My life has been go go go.

I've been listening to a lot of old school goo goo dolls. I like them.

Witnessing

A lot of times my priorities in life are not correct; I mean we're talking about decisions that have eternal consequences.

My atheist friend put it best. If you really believe that people all around you are going to hell, would you not give up everything so that maybe just maybe one more person may be saved?

Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,

Let that be enough

Everybody wants to be understood

I really do like Josh Groban's music. I think I have no problems meeting friends and socializing with people; what I do find difficult is finding someone who really understands. I know that sounds madd cheezy like out of iris or something but it's so true! Le me explain.....

It's been somewhat difficult not having a Christian support group. You really don't know what you have until it's gone. When I really think about it, I haven't belonged to a fellowship since high school, which is worrisome. I haven't been in TO consistently enough to go to Benj, and i haven't connected with ccf people besides my housemates on the deeper level that is needed to fellowship.

Speaking of high school and not appreciating what you've got, I used to think how crappy Yorkland was when I was there. But really, I was so fortunate to go to a private, Christian high school. A lot of those people came from the same background that I grew up in, founded on God's Word growing up in loving homes. Naturally, I find it somewhat hard to relate to people who grew up under much tougher circumstances.

Along those lines, I find it funny how much the past dictates the future. What I find is it has very little to do with how much you currently have rather than how much you grew up with.

I'm home sick. I'm glad I'm here for coop but I think on a more permanent basis I could trade it all, the money and the work, just to be home.

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough